How to play
- Read the question out loud; everyone else guesses the answer.
- Then open the punchline. Whoever laughs first reads the next joke.
- Print the slips, cut them out and tuck one into each present – or put one under each plate at Christmas dinner. The punchline is printed upside down: turn the slip round to read it.
Jokes for kids
What does Santa do in his garden?
Punchline
Hoe, hoe, hoe!
Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
Punchline
It needed a trim.
What do elves learn at school?
Punchline
The elf-abet.
How does a snowman get around?
Punchline
On an icicle.
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Punchline
Horn-aments.
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas?
Punchline
Sandy Claws.
What do sheep say to each other at Christmas?
Punchline
“Merry Christmas to ewe!”
What do snowmen call their children?
Punchline
Chill-dren.
Where do snowmen keep their money?
Punchline
In a snow bank.
What goes “oh, oh, oh”?
Punchline
Santa walking backwards.
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
Punchline
A cookie sheet.
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Punchline
Mistle-toad.
What do you call an elf who won’t share the sweets?
Punchline
Elfish.
What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Punchline
Santa Pause.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Punchline
“Can you smell carrots?”
Jokes for the family table and the office party
Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Punchline
Their days are numbered.
Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
Punchline
Because the present is beneath them.
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary one?
Punchline
The Christmas one has Noel.
What’s the best Christmas present?
Punchline
A broken drum: you can’t beat it.
What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
Punchline
“Stick with me and we’ll go places.”
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
Punchline
A mince spy.
What’s every elf’s favourite kind of music?
Punchline
Wrap.
How do Christmas trees get on the internet?
Punchline
They log on.
What do you call a crab that won’t share its Christmas presents?
Punchline
Shellfish.
What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
Punchline
Subordinate Clauses.
Why does Santa go down the chimney?
Punchline
Because it soots him.
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
Punchline
A Christmas quacker.
What do you call a snowman’s temper tantrum?
Punchline
A meltdown.
What do you call a party for snowmen?
Punchline
A snowball.
Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
Punchline
He wanted to sleep like a log.
What does Santa do in his garden?
Hoe, hoe, hoe!
Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed a trim.
What do elves learn at school?
The elf-abet.
How does a snowman get around?
On an icicle.
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments.
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas?
Sandy Claws.
What do sheep say to each other at Christmas?
“Merry Christmas to ewe!”
What do snowmen call their children?
Chill-dren.
Where do snowmen keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What goes “oh, oh, oh”?
Santa walking backwards.
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet.
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistle-toad.
What do you call an elf who won’t share the sweets?
Elfish.
What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Santa Pause.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
“Can you smell carrots?”
Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Their days are numbered.
Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
Because the present is beneath them.
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary one?
The Christmas one has Noel.
What’s the best Christmas present?
A broken drum: you can’t beat it.
What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
“Stick with me and we’ll go places.”
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.
What’s every elf’s favourite kind of music?
Wrap.
How do Christmas trees get on the internet?
They log on.
What do you call a crab that won’t share its Christmas presents?
Shellfish.
What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
Why does Santa go down the chimney?
Because it soots him.
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas quacker.
What do you call a snowman’s temper tantrum?
A meltdown.
What do you call a party for snowmen?
A snowball.
Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log.
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Also useful
Drawing names for gifts too? Secret Santa on santa.haus.